Mind Your Manners: Is Etiquette Becoming Obsolete?

Growing up, our society was structured around clear rules, there were things you did and things you didn’t. The society had clear boundaries, values, and expectations. The “magic words” Please, Excuse me, I’m sorry, Thank you, were not just polite phrases; they were a reflection of character.

Greeting others was a norm, a sign of respect and community. There was a collective sense of accountability, toward each other, property, and public institutions. But fast forward to today, and it feels like basic courtesy is fading fast. Small talk is considered a waste of time. Kindness is mistaken for weakness. The magic words are now optional. And all this makes me wonder, have we lost our moral compass?

Could it be that the rampant corruption we see today stems from this erosion of etiquette, of shared values, of respect for others and property as well as for the common good?

But let’s be honest, corruption doesn’t start in boardrooms. It starts as a harmless excuse. When we teach children that they can skip queues if they know someone. When we excuse dishonesty in the name of “Mtu wetu”, When we normalize shortcuts instead of following due process. These are not just bad habits, they are early seeds of corruption

We now live in an increasingly individualistic world, one where self-interest often trumps the public interest. And as we drift further from our foundational values, corruption is becoming more entrenched. According to the Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission (EACC), the average cost of a bribe in Kenya has nearly doubled, rising from Ksh. 6,865 in 2022 to Ksh. 11,865 today. This is not just a number, it’s a symptom of a deep concern and national crisis.

It’s time we asked ourselves: When did the rain start beating us? We must begin by minding our manners, literally and metaphorically. Etiquette, at its core, is about respect, for people, systems, and shared spaces. When we teach our children to say “thank you,” we are not just teaching politeness we’re laying the foundation for accountability. When we respect queues, rules, and procedures, we’re strengthening the institutions that support good governance.

Corruption Is sadly not Just a Crime, it is slowly moving to a Culture Shift. Let’s be honest: corruption takes two to tango. There’s the person offering the bribe, and the one accepting it. But behind every corrupt act is a choice, a choice to betray trust, a choice to disrespect public funds, a choice to skip the queue, an unjustifiable rush and choice to ignore the long-term consequences for a short-term gain.

If Kenya is to maintain its leadership space in the region, we must confront the elephant in the room: corruption. It’s not just a threat to our national image; it undermines our credibility, weakens our institutions, and stifles economic progress.

Corruption directly affects development. When roads collapse weeks after construction, when hospitals lack basic supplies, when schools are built with a disregard to the set standards, when substandard items are allowed at port of entry, it’s not bad luck, it’s weak governance, enabled by corruption. It compromises quality, breeds inefficiency, disrespect for properties and public amenities and can sadly costs lives.

We cannot talk about progressive development without addressing corruption head-on. We must begin by holding ourselves and others accountable, it is that moment that we should stand by the mirror accept that we have challenges which need to be dealt with. Development should never be reduced to a favor or personal connection. Every citizen, from the top leadership to the grassroots, must treat public resources as sacred.

• Communities must take an active role in local development and facing corruption head-on. We need to again and again ask ourselves, why “Mtu wetu Syndrome” has to apply only when its around corruption.

• Investigative agencies must be empowered to arrest and prosecute those involved in graft.

• Anti-corruption measures should not just exist on paper—they must be seen, felt, and enforced.

• And above all, we must return to the values we were raised with: respect, honesty, courtesy, integrity.

Etiquette isn’t just about saying “please” and “thank you.” It’s about respecting people, respecting systems, and respecting public funds. It’s about doing the right thing for the greater good.

Let’s Mind Our Manners and Respect Public Funds. When public money is stolen or wasted, it is you and I who suffer. These are our taxes. Taxes meant to deliver quality healthcare, safe and clean water, reliable roads, good schools, and safe environments for business and farming to thrive.

If we could reduce corruption by just half, Kenya would have more than enough resources to fund public services and invest in meaningful development.

So, here is my call: Let’s STOP. REFLECT. ACT. Let’s mind our manners. Let’s treat public funds with the dignity they deserve.

Because when we do, we won’t just be building infrastructure, we’ll be rebuilding trust, community, and a future we can all be proud of.