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The Critical Balance: Parenting in 2026 and Beyond

The Critical Balance: Parenting in 2026 and Beyond

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The Critical Balance: Parenting in 2026 and Beyond

Parenting is often defined as the process of bringing up and caring for children. In reality, however, parenting is much more than that. It is one of the most influential responsibilities in society. Parenting can either nurture confidence, resilience and self belief, or contribute to fear, insecurity and uncertainty. It is often the foundation upon which a child’s future is built.

Over the past few months, Kenya has witnessed a number of incidents involving children and young people. From school unrest and cases of indiscipline to challenges within families and communities, these events have triggered intense public debate. Many people have been quick to point fingers at parents, questioning parenting styles, parental absence and approaches to discipline.

Like many others, I found myself reflecting on these conversations. Have parents really failed? Is there a universal parenting manual that everyone is expected to follow? If there is, where can one find it?

Looking at the issue through a community development lens raises important questions. Community development theory recognises that individuals do not exist in isolation. Families, schools, communities, institutions and social systems all contribute to shaping behaviour and outcomes. In this perspective, raising children is not solely the responsibility of parents. It is a collective investment that requires supportive relationships, strong institutions and enabling environments.

To understand parenting today, we must first understand how society has changed.

In traditional Kenyan communities, child upbringing was a collective responsibility. The roles of fathers, mothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles and older siblings were clearly defined. Every adult played a part in guiding, correcting and mentoring children. A child belonged not only to a family but also to the community. Values were passed from one generation to the next through daily interaction, storytelling, observation and shared experiences.

Following independence and especially with increasing urbanisation and modernisation, family structures began to change. People moved away from their extended families in search of education and employment opportunities. Economic pressures increased. Dual income households became more common. Career growth, personal development and financial stability became necessary pursuits rather than optional ambitions.

These changes have brought many positive outcomes. More women have joined the workforce. Families have greater access to education, healthcare and economic opportunities. However, they have also created new parenting challenges.

Today’s parents are often expected to do everything. They must provide financially, nurture emotionally, support academically and prepare their children for a rapidly changing world. Many are balancing demanding jobs, long commutes, financial obligations and personal aspirations. Yet they are still expected to be fully present in their children’s lives.

Perhaps this is why assigning blame alone does not solve the problem.

The reality is that many current parents are navigating parenting without adequate guidance. Some grew up raising younger siblings because their parents were busy working. Others are trying to avoid repeating difficult experiences from their own childhoods. Many are learning as they go.

We must remember that before someone becomes a parent, they are first a person. They have dreams, ambitions, strengths and limitations. Parenting does not erase these realities. Instead, it adds another profound responsibility: shaping another human being.

I often smile when I hear children confidently declare, “When I grow up, I want to be a doctor, teacher, pilot or police officer.” Such aspirations rarely emerge in isolation. Children dream based on what they see around them. They are inspired by family members, teachers, neighbours and other role models within their communities. This is why healthy communities are essential for raising confident and responsible children.

This raises an important question. How do we balance personal success and self development with meaningful parenting? How do we pursue careers, businesses and personal goals while remaining actively involved in our children’s lives?

The answer may not be found in choosing one over the other but in being intentional. Quality parenting is not always about the number of hours spent together. It is about the quality of those interactions. A conversation during dinner, attending a school event, listening without judgement, setting clear boundaries and creating safe spaces for children to express themselves can have a lasting impact.

Parents must also adapt to the realities of today’s world. Digital technology, social media, changing social norms and increased exposure to information require a different approach to parenting. Monitoring, guidance and open communication are becoming just as important as provision and discipline.

At the same time, parents cannot carry this responsibility alone. Communities, faith based organisations, civil society groups and government institutions must also contribute. Child development is a shared responsibility. When families struggle, society feels the consequences. When children thrive, society benefits.

As we reflect on the challenges facing children today, let us move away from blame and towards solutions. Let us ask what support parents need, what environments children are growing up in and how we can collectively strengthen families.

After all, the future of our nation is being shaped in homes, schools and communities every day. The children belong to all of us, and so does the responsibility of raising them well.

 

Adolescent and teen Pregnancies: The silent Epidemic

Adolescent and teen Pregnancies: The silent Epidemic

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Adolescent and teen Pregnancies: The silent Epidemic

During a recent official visit to health facilities, I flipped through the Antenatal Clinic registers expecting routine entries. Instead, the ages of expectant mothers made my heart sink: 15, 14, 13, and one entry that disturbed me most, a 9 year old. Yes, a child who is about to become a mother. Picture this: by age 10, she could be a mum while still in Primary school, possibly alongside her own child. This is an interrupted childhood and sadly a story of broken dreams and aspirations.

In Kenya, adolescents aged 10 to 19 comprise around 22 percent of the population, representing the future of the nation. Yet adolescent pregnancies remain a critical societal challenge with profound public health, social and economic implications. According to the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics Kenya Demographic and Health Survey 2022, about 15 percent of girls aged 15 to 19 have ever been pregnant or given birth. Walking into an ANC waiting area, one can find pregnant girls playing while they wait, seated next to women old enough to be their mothers. It is a haunting image of a reality that is not isolated but widespread.

Health data confirm the persistence of adolescent pregnancies. In 2023, over 240,000 girls aged 10 to 19 attended ANC clinics. Yet this reflects only those who sought care. Many others may not have accessed services, and some face unsafe abortion risks. Between October 2024 and December 2025, the Social Health Authority recorded over 48,000 teenage mothers accessing services across 44 counties. This is more than a family problem. It is a national development concern, with disrupted education, health risks and limited economic prospects affecting a significant portion of our youth.

The drivers of early pregnancy are complex. At an individual level, 8 percent of girls report sexual activity before age 15. Stigma around discussing sexuality leaves adolescents without accurate information or guidance. At the family level, limited parent child communication, peer pressure and cross generational relationships increase vulnerability. Poverty, transactional relationships and harmful cultural practices such as child marriage and unequal power dynamics further weaken girls’ ability to make safe choices. Very young adolescents often intersect with sexual violence, highlighting that adolescent pregnancy is also a child protection and justice issue that requires effective enforcement of laws safeguarding children.

The consequences are severe. Adolescent mothers face higher risks of obstetric complications including hypertensive disorders and obstructed labor. Their infants are more likely to experience low birth weight or neonatal complications. Stigma and fear of judgment from health staff can also delay or prevent timely care. Education suffers as well. Despite Kenya’s school re entry policy for adolescent mothers, inconsistent implementation, childcare needs, financial constraints and stigma often push them out of school, reinforcing cycles of poverty.

Government efforts have introduced health cards and unique identifiers for teenage mothers, improving access to care and reducing financial barriers. While commendable, these are reactive measures that address consequences rather than prevention. Kenya must prioritize proactive and multisectoral solutions.

Root cause analysis is critical. Adolescents must be engaged in national dialogues to identify factors driving early pregnancies and to co create solutions based on their lived realities.

Sexuality education in schools and communities must be normalized, culturally sensitive and evidence based. It should focus on behavior change and life skills that empower young people to make informed decisions.

Adolescent friendly health services must be fully operational, offering confidential counselling, non-judgmental care, access to contraceptives and integration with HIV prevention services.

Family support. Parents should be equipped to have age appropriate conversations about sexuality, since open communication can delay sexual debut and encourage responsible choices.

Child protection laws must be enforced consistently to ensure perpetrators are held accountable and young adolescents are protected from sexual violence.

A coordinated multi sector response is essential. Clear accountability, defined roles and measurable actions must guide government and partner interventions.

Data systems strengthening. Information on all adolescent pregnancies should be available, not only those who present at health facilities. Access to social protection, health and justice services should be tracked across sectors to measure progress and ensure accountability.

Adolescent pregnancy in Kenya is not sudden or unpredictable. It is a silent epidemic that demands urgent and strategic response. Protecting adolescence is both a moral obligation and a strategic investment in our nation’s future. To harness Kenya’s demographic dividend, we must move beyond good intentions to measurable action. The next generation is watching and waiting for us to act.

 

Weekly reflection: Rethinking the Bursary Program: From Fragmentation to Harmonization

Weekly reflection: Rethinking the Bursary Program: From Fragmentation to Harmonization

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Rethinking the Bursary Program: From Fragmentation to Harmonization

January in Kenya has a familiar soundtrack. School bells ring, buses hoot, and parents scramble. Somewhere between buying uniforms and paying rent, school fees become the breaking point. Every year, some children quietly fail to report to school. Others turn to public appeals photos on social media, long queues at MPs’ offices, and desperate letters to well-wishers. It is a ritual we have normalised, even though it signals a deeper systems failure. This year was not different, in fact we recently saw a report that more than 800,000 children had not reported for Grade 10. Sad, but a reality.

Ironically, this happens in a country that has many programmes for vulnerable children. From cash transfers for orphans and vulnerable children, to bursaries from MPs, governors, counties and national agencies, to indigent health coverage under the Social Health Authority (SHA), support exists. Add scholarships from banks, philanthropists, NGOs and churches, and one would expect no child to be left behind. The problem is not lack of goodwill or funding. The problem is fragmentation.

Today, a child can qualify for social protection, need a school bursary, and require health cover, all at the same time. But because each programme operates its own rules, forms and databases, that same child can easily miss out on everything. This is what systems thinkers call a silo problem: when good programmes operate independently, the overall system performs badly.

In strengthening equity, Kenya needs to start with a simple idea: one vulnerable child, one profile. A single national registry for vulnerable children would allow government to understand need holistically rather than programme by programme.

This registry should be built with schools, local administrators, faith leaders and community structures people who know these children by name, not by file number. Community verification would reduce errors and build trust. Most importantly, the registry must be dynamic. Poverty is not permanent. A parent may lose a job today and find one tomorrow. Support systems must adjust accordingly.

Countries that have adopted integrated social registries have reduced duplication, improved targeting and saved resources. Kenya does not need to reinvent the wheel, just connect the ones we already have.

We also need to be honest about bursaries. For many families, bursary access feels like a lottery,w ho you know, where you apply, and how early you show up matters more than need. That is not social protection; that is survival by chance.

A better approach would see the Ministry of Education develop clear cost benchmarks for primary, junior secondary and day secondary education, with government covering at least 80 % of these costs. When education financing is predictable, families plan better and children stay in school.

Boarding secondary schools, which remain expensive, require a different solution. Bursary schemes here should be harmonised and regulated under a common framework to prevent duplication and thinly spread funding. MPs, counties and private sponsors would still contribute but within a system that prioritises fairness, not visibility.

Academic performance is often used as the main gatekeeper for scholarships. While merit is important, it cannot be the only measure. A student who walks long distances on an empty stomach and studies by candlelight is not competing on equal ground with one who has three meals and Wi-Fi.

Human capital theory tells us that potential emerges when constraints are removed. Some of Kenya’s brightest students are hidden behind poverty. Scholarship and bursary programmes, especially private ones, should balance performance with context, giving disadvantaged learners room to grow.

Government accountability must go beyond budgets to data transparency. How many learners fail to transition from primary to secondary school each year? and why? How many drop out due to poverty, health challenges or early pregnancy? Data should not just be collected; it should drive decisions.

Schools must also do more than prepare students for exams. Children spend most of their formative years in school. This is where values like responsibility, resilience, financial literacy and respect should be reinforced.

Which brings us to the uncomfortable issue of teen and child pregnancy. These are not just exam-period headlines. They are children becoming parents, families recycling poverty, and futures being reshaped permanently. We have the data. What we lack is sustained action and honest conversation.

Kenya’s children deserve more than fragmented support and seasonal sympathy. By harmonising social protection and bursary programmes, financing education more predictably, using data responsibly and strengthening values in schools, we can build systems that actually work.

This requires courage, coordination and candour. History will not ask how many programmes we launched. It will ask whether every child had a fair chance.

Our children deserve that chance

 

Education Equity and Universal Access

Education Equity and Universal Access

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Education Equity and Universal Access

At independence, Kenya made bold and clear commitments: end hunger, eradicate poverty, and improve access to education. These aspirations were meant to lay the foundation for an equitable and prosperous society.

More than 60 years later, it is sobering that we are still grappling with the very same challenges.

Globally, the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) echo these priorities, poverty eradication and universal access to basic education by 2030. Locally, however, recent events remind us how far we still have to go. Reports indicate that over 800,000 students transitioning to Senior Secondary School did not report in the first week, largely due to challenges such as lack of school fees and related costs.

This reality reignites a critical conversation on the true cost of education.

Education is often described as the great equalizer and rightly so. It expands opportunities, improves living standards, and breaks intergenerational cycles of poverty. Yet, when access is determined by ability to pay, education risks becoming a privilege rather than a right.

Recently, public debate was sparked by the launch of a project by a Member of Parliament proposing that students in day secondary schools pay Ksh. 500 per term (approximately USD 5). Reactions have been mixed some supportive, others questioning, opposing, or indifferent. But beyond the debate lies a much bigger and more important question:

How do we guarantee universal access to basic education for every Kenyan child, without barriers?

There is no doubt that government has a central role to play in making education both accessible and affordable. While bursaries have been instrumental and remain important, they are not without challenges particularly around transparency, equity, and identification of deserving beneficiaries. In situations where two children are equally vulnerable, what determines who benefits and who is left out?

This points to the need for a more systemic and universal approach.

One possible solution is a fully subsidized basic education model covering primary, junior secondary, and senior secondary education. Another is the harmonization of existing bursary schemes, with structured identification of needy learners at the community and school levels.

Imagine the impact if MP, County (Governor), and National Government bursaries were consolidated into a single education subsidy framework simpler, fairer, and more predictable.

Perhaps the time has come to move beyond fragmented interventions and rethink how Kenya can truly achieve universal access to basic education not as an aspiration, but as a lived reality for every child.

The question is are we ready for this conversation?



Mind Your Manners: Is Etiquette Becoming Obsolete?

Mind Your Manners: Is Etiquette Becoming Obsolete?

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Mind Your Manners: Is Etiquette Becoming Obsolete?

Growing up, our society was structured around clear rules, there were things you did and things you didn’t. The society had clear boundaries, values, and expectations. The “magic words” Please, Excuse me, I’m sorry, Thank you, were not just polite phrases; they were a reflection of character.

Greeting others was a norm, a sign of respect and community. There was a collective sense of accountability, toward each other, property, and public institutions. But fast forward to today, and it feels like basic courtesy is fading fast. Small talk is considered a waste of time. Kindness is mistaken for weakness. The magic words are now optional. And all this makes me wonder, have we lost our moral compass?

Could it be that the rampant corruption we see today stems from this erosion of etiquette, of shared values, of respect for others and property as well as for the common good?

But let’s be honest, corruption doesn’t start in boardrooms. It starts as a harmless excuse. When we teach children that they can skip queues if they know someone. When we excuse dishonesty in the name of “Mtu wetu”, When we normalize shortcuts instead of following due process. These are not just bad habits, they are early seeds of corruption

We now live in an increasingly individualistic world, one where self-interest often trumps the public interest. And as we drift further from our foundational values, corruption is becoming more entrenched. According to the Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission (EACC), the average cost of a bribe in Kenya has nearly doubled, rising from Ksh. 6,865 in 2022 to Ksh. 11,865 today. This is not just a number, it’s a symptom of a deep concern and national crisis.

It’s time we asked ourselves: When did the rain start beating us? We must begin by minding our manners, literally and metaphorically. Etiquette, at its core, is about respect, for people, systems, and shared spaces. When we teach our children to say “thank you,” we are not just teaching politeness we’re laying the foundation for accountability. When we respect queues, rules, and procedures, we’re strengthening the institutions that support good governance.

Corruption Is sadly not Just a Crime, it is slowly moving to a Culture Shift. Let’s be honest: corruption takes two to tango. There’s the person offering the bribe, and the one accepting it. But behind every corrupt act is a choice, a choice to betray trust, a choice to disrespect public funds, a choice to skip the queue, an unjustifiable rush and choice to ignore the long-term consequences for a short-term gain.

If Kenya is to maintain its leadership space in the region, we must confront the elephant in the room: corruption. It’s not just a threat to our national image; it undermines our credibility, weakens our institutions, and stifles economic progress.

Corruption directly affects development. When roads collapse weeks after construction, when hospitals lack basic supplies, when schools are built with a disregard to the set standards, when substandard items are allowed at port of entry, it’s not bad luck, it’s weak governance, enabled by corruption. It compromises quality, breeds inefficiency, disrespect for properties and public amenities and can sadly costs lives.

We cannot talk about progressive development without addressing corruption head-on. We must begin by holding ourselves and others accountable, it is that moment that we should stand by the mirror accept that we have challenges which need to be dealt with. Development should never be reduced to a favor or personal connection. Every citizen, from the top leadership to the grassroots, must treat public resources as sacred.

  • Communities must take an active role in local development and facing corruption head-on. We need to again and again ask ourselves, why “Mtu wetu Syndrome” has to apply only when its around corruption.

  • Investigative agencies must be empowered to arrest and prosecute those involved in graft.

  • Anti-corruption measures should not just exist on paper—they must be seen, felt, and enforced.

  • And above all, we must return to the values we were raised with: respect, honesty, courtesy, integrity.

Etiquette isn’t just about saying “please” and “thank you.” It’s about respecting people, respecting systems, and respecting public funds. It’s about doing the right thing for the greater good.

Let’s Mind Our Manners and Respect Public Funds. When public money is stolen or wasted, it is you and I who suffer. These are our taxes. Taxes meant to deliver quality healthcare, safe and clean water, reliable roads, good schools, and safe environments for business and farming to thrive.

If we could reduce corruption by just half, Kenya would have more than enough resources to fund public services and invest in meaningful development.

So, here is my call: Let’s STOP. REFLECT. ACT. Let’s mind our manners. Let’s treat public funds with the dignity they deserve.

Because when we do, we won’t just be building infrastructure, we’ll be rebuilding trust, community, and a future we can all be proud of.